Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
this is an emotional support booty call
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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