You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
