Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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