guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
