Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
