So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize