Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
