I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
