so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
