We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
