i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
