Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
that's an acceptable place to lick
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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