brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
