carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
