Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
