Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
