Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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