I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The best revenge is premature balding
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
