zippers are such a cool invention
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
