I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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