I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize