Betty ford says i'm here all night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
