what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
