I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
