your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
