yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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