Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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