I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The adults are the big ones right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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