i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize