Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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