she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
