ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
