the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
