im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize