That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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