so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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