dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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