He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
