Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
