A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are we still banned from the library?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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