his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
