we're blogging at a bar
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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