My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
