i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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