remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
