I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
