I'm drive I can fine osifer
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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