1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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