he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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