it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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