1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
farters have to be the big spoon...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't deserve a penis
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think my moral compass just broke
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
