What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
