but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
