Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
