Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i barfeds in our rink
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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