We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
