You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
