She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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