I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
