Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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