I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
