You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Come share oat with me in your robe
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
