all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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