He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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