no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize