Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
